Approved by:
Gary Mix, a network specialist and Wedding Photographer in Gainesville Florida
Link Exchange

Breaking up with your ex can be a terrible experience to go through, and after some time has passed you may well realise you you want them back, and need to figure out some strategies of how to go about doing exactly that. At this point though you do need to step back and realise that what you were doing at the end of the relationship was not the same as what you did at the beginning (quite clearly or you wouldn’t have ended up splitting up). So now is a good opportunity to re-assess what went well and what went badly and get to re-experience the magic of making up. In this article I am going to talk about one very important factor of that which is often glossed over by many get ex back style guides, but which actually lies at the heart of why you got together and why you eventually split up. Namely the subject of attraction. I am also going to discuss the biological imperative behind relationships and how you can turn it to your advantage by understanding it, and learning to press her evolutionary buttons.

So how does this emotional attraction stuff work to win her heart back without having to work too hard? Well it is instructive to first think of it in evolutionary terms, and think back to our humble ancestors in the caves, sharpening their spears and wondering where the next meal is going to come from. Even now, in terms of relationships our caveman friend is living in small tribal units where everyone knows everyone else, and every good thing that he does is known about by the community. Every faux pas that he makes is also known. In that type of small community is it any wonder that men would be rather shy to go and talk to the women? After all, if they are rejected then in a small tribal community where there is a limited supply of females, that could literally ruin their status to such an extent that they won’t get the chance to reproduce with a female again. So it is a big deal that they get it right and are very certain that their advances will be reciprocated.

The thing is that despite thinking that that is somehow in the past and that we don’t have to worry too much about what was true for cavemen (“Hey Dude! Haven’t you heard? This is the 21st Century!”). The truth is that in evolutionary terms nothing much has changed. And that whilst the meeting places may be fancier the techniques to win a woman back are surprisingly similar. In truth, when it comes to women we are still very much living in our animal skins standing at the mouth of a cave. Namely, that most men still have an enormous fear of rejection that is out of all proportion to the potential risks involved and that this is primarily grounded in biological mechanisms that cause us to have fears of the consequences of being rejected by women.

Women are hence heavily triggered into feelings of attraction to any guy that can pluck up courage and come and say hi. It is almost irrelevant what the final outcome of the interaction is. If you go and say hi, then in her eyes, and in her heart your status amongst that group of males has immediately soared. What this all means for the breakup experience and getting back with your ex is that you need to start to tap into these psychological trigger points that are hard-wired into all of us. You need to show that you are the pack leader. That you are the alpha male of the group, and that yours is a ‘tribe’ that she should want to return to.

A good thing to do once you realise that the power really is in your hands if you present it right is to then come up with a plan of action. This should involve re-establishing contact with her, but always on your terms. It is no good trying to get her back by getting her to analyse your relationship and see how good it used to be. That is a losers approach, and it doesn’t work. The only way she will come back is for emotional reasons. She has to miss you. At this stage take a look at your past relationship through her eyes and try to establish what aspects of the relationship were the ones that really made her enjoy being with you. Once you have come up with an idea of what those are, then amplify those in your re-courtship of her and gradually re-introduce those magic elements without the parts that led you to split up in the first place. If you do that then there is every chance that you will be able to get her back much quicker than you ever imagined possible.